I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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