I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
