...so i touched it.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize