seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize