I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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