Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
