Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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