all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
