i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
