I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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