His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
