She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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