Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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