My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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