Do you still have your period?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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