Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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