Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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