someone threw a dead crab at me
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
