just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
