Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
