She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
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They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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