"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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