Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
