Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
