can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
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Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
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Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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