This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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