The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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