so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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