I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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