I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
