1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
