This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
how drunk are you?
Several
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
