This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
