I'm going to jail i love you
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
