apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
