you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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