i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
