im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
