Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Barsexuality is the new black.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
