Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
