it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I look better un-naked...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize