Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
