Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
