Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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