Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize