you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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