Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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