Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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