I like to think it a success when the cops are called
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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