great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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