He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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