ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
