woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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