Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
