I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
