I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
