oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
