Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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