I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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