So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
