He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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