I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
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