I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize