The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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