remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
