They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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