she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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