I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.