Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the day after is always just damage control
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult