fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
